Difficult Conversations

Some thoughts I have collected on difficult conversations.  The list is from the book “Difficult Conversations.  The video below the list is something that I just recently found.

  1. We will always face difficult conversations.
  2. Dealing with difficult topics and awkward conversations is a chance to strengthen the relationship.
  3. Change the tone of the conversation from who is to blame for the situation to what  each party’s contribution has been to the problem.
  4. Avoid using always and never.
  5. For every conversation that appears hopeless there are a thousand that seem so, but that will work.
  6. Shift from a message delivery stance to a learning stance.
  7. To understand difficult conversations you must understand their structure.
  8. Words reveal only the surface of what is going on.
  9. Start from the third story–a view that a third party would take of the situation.
  10. Be persistent.
  11. Approach difficult conversations as if the other person has good intentions.
  12. Your communication is only as good as your understanding of the person you’re communicating with.
  13. Try to put yourself in their shoes.
  14. Need to understand feelings and what a person is thinking about the conversation.
  15. Stating your opinion as fact makes difficult conversations more difficult.
  16. Explain your views and experiences.
  17. Share where your views come from.
  18. Rephrase their views and ask them to rephrase yours.
  19. Speak for yourself-don’t speak for the other.
  20. Problem solving.Take the lead.
  21. You can see a sample from the book on Amazon by clicking on the image of the book cover to the left.  Click on the cover to “Look Inside” the book.

  22. Shift conversation away from blame.
  23. Shift from “or” to “and.”
  24. From me me and to me you and.
  25. Before you can change the direction of the conversation the other person needs to feel understood.
  26. Say what would persuade you.
  27. Ask what would persuade them.
  28. Determined creative brainstorming to find a solution.
  29. Ask what standards ot fairness should apply.
  30. Think of difficult conversations as learning conversations.
  31. Tact is important, but is not the answer to difficult conversations.

 
Managing Difficult Conversations: 9 Questions to Ask Yourself

To view the slideshow, you need to click the right arrow to advance the slides when you are ready to move on to the next one.

To view the slideshow, you need to click the right arrow to advance the slides when you are ready to move on to the next one.

If you have any thoughts to add, please leave them as a comment below.

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